My Tribe: Down on the Farm…Old Tioga Style

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The Naylors have brought a piece of dining paradise to the small, enchanting town of Stillwater, PA in the form of Old Tioga Farm-Elegant Farmhouse Dinners.  The evenings begin with the perfected hosting of Dillon, wife of head chef and co-owner, Justin.   She is your guide through an extraordinary culinary experience.

Name: Dillon Naylor

Job, position, title: Co-owner of old Tioga Farm. She is also homeschooling her three boys!

In what city were you born?

“Baltimore.”

What is your birth month and why?

“October. I’ve always felt it made sense to me that my birth month is October even though I was due to be born in September.”

What is something interesting/fun about your family history?

“My parents ran a toy business and made wooden toys. They supported our family by making wooden toys. So, I was raised by toy makers.”

What is something you’ve learned and had fun learning it?

“Once I took a tango class and had so much fun learning to tango. It’s something I would definitely like to get back to one day.”

What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

“Have a cup of tea, read, listen to music. Having kids means reading aloud to them. I love to read out loud to them…I mean, I really love it.”

What keeps you up at night?

“I hate so say it but the ‘what if’s?’.”

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “beautiful”?

“Actually, being with other women and just that energy that comes from that experience. Learning new things from them and each other, it’s really something special.”

What is your special gift?

“One special gift that I feel that I have, and I don’t use it all the time, is that I really enjoy listening to people. I enjoy hearing their stories and I feel they know that I like listening to them. Especially with the elderly. I’ve always enjoyed spending time with them, working with them.”

If there were one thing you could tell the entire world, what would it be?

“That sometimes there are things that are more important than taking sides. Sometimes being in the middle of a debate and hearing and trying to understand both sides is so important. If there were more people passionate about that, things might be a little different.”

What is your passion in life?

My passion in life has more to do with people. Working to facilitate that connection with community and other people. It’s important to do that in the restaurant business but just as important in everyday life.”

What do you do to facilitate that passion every day?

“Being home with the kids, I’ve worked on my parenting and with connecting with them as people. And I’ve found parenting to not be the easiest thing in the world. I love it but it is not easy and I’ve found it to be a very humbling experience.

This is a question from the previous interview, Renato Luongo-what did they find is the hardest thing in life to do?

“It’s a toss up between raising children and letting go of the past. Now that I think of it, my answer would be letting go of the past

One question you would ask the next person with whom I speak?

“What was a decision you’ve made as an adult that you never thought you’d be making?”

To learn more about Old Tioga Farm and the Naylor family philosophy on food and dining, visit them at:

www.oldtiogafarm.com

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My Tribe: It’s Always Sunny in…Abe’s Deli!

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Without fail, being greeted at the counter at Abe’s Deli is a good and friendly experience. When you come face to face with this guy…it’s a positively sunny one.

Name: Renato Luongo

Job, position, title: Manager (Extraordinaire) of Abe’s Deli which can be found on N. Washington Ave. in Downtown Scranton

In what city were you born?

“Scranton.”

What is your birth month and why?

“December.  Maybe, to be closer to Jesus.  My birthday is the 23rd.  My name in Italian means ‘reborn’.”

What is something interesting/fun about your family history?

“I’m first generation from Guardi Lombardi Italy.”

What is something you’ve learned and had fun learning it?

“The restaurant business. The owner who taught me, Jerry, became not only a boss but also more of a father and shoulder for me.  Someone who was behind me in all things.  I feel he taught me more as a son.”

What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

“Stay home and hang out with my wife and son.”

What keeps you up at night?

“Thoughts about making sure my family is ok and covered, taken care of.   Concerns about my family.”

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “beautiful”?

“My wife.” (He said with absolutely no hesitation)

What is your special gift?

“Cooking.”

If there were one thing you could tell the entire world, what would it be?

“Don’t sweat the small things.”

What is your passion in life?

“Cars.  Since I was a kid, I’ve loved cars.  All kinds of cars.  I’ve owned a couple of really neat ones.  I get tons of magazines on cars at the house.”

What do you do to facilitate that passion every day?

“I read up on them a lot.”

One question you would ask the next person with whom I speak?

“What did they find is the hardest thing in life to do?”

 

To get a taste of Abe’s Deli, visit them at:

326 N Washington Ave,  Scranton, PA 18503

(570) 342-4517

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All About…Us!

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My calling is one that intrinsically involves the meeting of people. Without people willing to take the very brave steps to seek out healing…healing cannot take place. And every moment I spend in the process of healing is priceless.

Therefore, I believe in promoting the interesting and amazing nature that is our human one. It will be a series of writings called “My Tribe”.

This blog will be featuring a different, very special person on-going. People I have known and loved for years. Or maybe someone that caught my eye/ear in a coffee shop…and looked like they had something to tell. Each of us is a thread in a great and beautiful tapestry and, without that one stitch, something is definitely missing.

“Full of hope, full of grace is the human race…”

-Grateful Dead, “Throwing Stones”

Namaste!

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What’s Your Favorite Program(ing)?

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More than computers? You bet we are! Yet, we are still driven to perceive, think, and act by our programming. I’m going to borrow a bit from John Lilly, the meta-physically thinking neuroscientist and psychoanalyst who gave human kind the gift of the ‘sensory depravation tank’ or ‘float tank’, and John Worthington, who brilliantly re-framed many of Lilly’s concepts in his soul-shifting book, “The Office of Shaman.”

 

The concept of being programmed may conjure images of science fiction or mind control. Instead, programming consists of our individual collections of experiences, perceptions, and ‘lessons’ that occur in every individual’s lifetime. As a child, we learn that touching the stove hurts…a great deal. Therefore, our programming includes very sensible data-points: stoves are hot, hot hurts, don’t touch stove, don’t touch ‘hot’. This is a program you want to keep around, as it is rather a good thing to remember to ‘not touch hot’.

 

Programming exists throughout our psychology. Early in life, some of us may have been programmed that we work hard for what we want then enjoy the fruits of our labor. Again, this is one you may want to maintain as it helps with healthy production. Yet, some of our programing may be standing in the way of our happiness and well-being. If you have been programed to believe you are the “black sheep” of the family, you will most likely spend a fair amount of emotional energy trying to uphold this. You will make poor choices, get in lots of trouble, and create havoc wherever you go. All in the name of validating your programming.

 

Now, imagine if you were able to change that programming to include one that facilitates healthy self esteem rather than poor self image, positive progress versus self destruction. The wonderful thing about being a human being is that…we can do just that.  We don’t have to wait for the tech guy (person) to show up to do it for us. Insight, a desire for change, the tools to do so, and the vision on where we want to be make such a transformation very possible. As a therapist, it has been an honor to help guide individuals in re-writing their programming from negative and detrimental to uplifting and constructive. I then get to watch them walk out the door seeing the world as a peaceful and hopeful place…

 

…I have been programed to take great joy in seeing such amazing transformations. And this is a personal programming I have no desire to re-write.

 

Namaste!

 

 

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OPEN!

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New Path Therapy is now officially open!  This practice is located at:

Neighborhood Family Medicine
1214 Bethel Hill Road
Shickshinny, PA  18655
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I had been invited by Chad and Kelly Cope, founders of Neighborhood Family medicine as well as medical practitioners, quite some time ago.  Now, many moons and much work later, we are bringing new therapeutic options to the residents of the area, including Huntington Mills, Hunlock Creek, Shickshinny, Benton, Sweet Valley, Union Township, and beyond.  The vision the of care the Cope’s have for this area is an exceptional one and it is one of which I am proud to be a part.
Also, special thanks to Dr. John Kuna and Associates for his continued cheering support.  It is an honor to be an ongoing part of this practice.
Friends and family, I can only hope you know what I mean when I simply say…”Thank you”.
Namaste!
 
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Your Letter to Yourself

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“You have the belief in the best of man, in the beauty of the world around you, and in this living, spinning ball that benevolently sustains us.   It is a belief in peace and goodness and love.

I tell you, I have been looking for the path to peace and wellness…to enlightenment and understanding.  I have looked far and wide and to every end of the earth.  I’m a fool.  Because all that I have been searching for…the key has been at my hands for all my time.  Only, I could not find it.  Now, I have.  Show me your path.  I want to walk along side you.”

Namaste!

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Shame…Guilt-There is a difference.

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Shame and guilt are emotional terms that are all-too-readily used interchangeably and yet there is a definite divide between the two.  Guilt can be defined as a negative emotional reaction to something we have DONE.  Shame can be defined as a negative emotional reaction to WHO WE ARE.  The two are quite different in how they make us feel internally as well as in how we cope with them.  Guilt can more often be alleviated through changes in behaviors that better ensure the offending/inappropriate actions are not repeated.   In other words-stop the offending action=stop the negative emotions.

Shame, however, often runs much more internally.  Because it is the result of how we intrinsically feel about ourselves, it is much deeper rooted.  Victims and survivors of abuse-sexual, physical, emotional-often experience shame as a result of what has been done to them.  They are left with a feeling of being flawed, wrong, dirty, and unable to be loved due to the actions of another.  Shame is an emotional state that is immensely painful for the client suffering through it and it is a difficult emotional state for a therapist to help alleviate.  One of the most powerful tools a therapist has when assisting a client in working through their abuse-based shame is empathy and validation.  Reassuring your patient that, as a human being, they are worthy and innately good and bear no responsibility for that which they have experienced can have a profound effect.  This validation of a lack of blame coupled with bolstering their self-worth can help turn a sense of shame into a sense of resilience.   And that strength rising out of the ashes of abuse and shame, it is a truly beautiful thing.

Namaste!

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To What Do We Owe

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The make-up of give and take in relationships is truly ‘made to order’.  Even within relationships-marriage, work, friendships-each interaction may warrant its own formula.  A normally fifty-fifty friendship may find the balance tipped should one said friend be experiencing a hardship in life.  Marriage?  Some say ‘equal, equal, equal!’.   Personally, I agree with the view that marriage is always a hundred percent and is forever shifting the roles of supporter and supported as various needs arise.

But what about the client-therapist relationship?  Common (professional) sense tells us it should be one hundred percent flowing from therapist to client.  After all, we are not in session in order to meet our own needs.  Yet, it has been confirmed time and time again that the client-patient alliance is of paramount importance to the success of the treatment, regardless of the skill of the professional or the therapy mode being utilized.  In such, can we not treat the alliance as an entity of its own that requires attention?  Perhaps, an equation that should be considered is as follows: 80% in support of the client and 20% in support of the therapeutic alliance; that ever necessary relationship that propels the success of treatment.  This is particularly true when dealing with trauma.  It has been established that the comfort level of the client with the therapist and the warmth and empathy demonstrated is one of the most important deciding factors when examining the success of treatment.  Treat the patient-therapist relationship its own entity to be nurtured as it will only facilitate your client’s healing and happiness.

Namaste!

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